


i don't know where to put my hands

by orphan_account



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: AFAB Bloodhound (Apex Legends), Bloodhound's Face (Apex Legends), Canon Non-Binary Character, Flashbacks, Friends with Benefits type of situation, Implied Sexual Content, Is Bloodhound Native? Yes, Major Character Injury, One-sided pining, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religious Guilt, Slow Burn, caustic is a bastard man, dumbasses in love, hcs about bloodhound's childhood, hcs about bloodhound's face, i am a bloodhound kin and this is self care, lotta self discovery here, not graphic violence but it is apex, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27633451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Being with you reminds me of who I was.""Is that a bad thing?"He paused before answering."Yes."
Relationships: Bloodhound & Lifeline | Ajay Che, Bloodhound/Crypto | Park Tae Joon
Kudos: 17





	1. Rabbokki

"I had not expected you to be out here." 

Hyeun Kim turned to look at them, the hacker's face flush against the cold with a cigarette hanging loosely between his forefinger and his thumb. Bloth will admit he looked nice despite the smoke hanging around his head. 

"Sorry, do you want me to leave?" He asked, taking quick puffs of his cigarette to finish it off. 

"No, no, you are fine." They slowly stepped closer, resting their hands on the railing. "Um, do you smoke often?"

"Yeah, I think that's sort of the point." He looked out at the leviathans in the water. His tone was teasing, but Bloth didn't give any sign of bemusement. Hyeun regarded Bloth with dark eyes. "We don't talk. Not since I joined."

"No, we do not." They breathe deep and are grateful for their respirator to clear the tobacco filled air. "I had always assumed... I mean, that you did not wish to converse with me."

Hyeun had some sort of a relationship with most of the Legends that Bloth could admit made them a little jealous. Helping Elliott with his tech when it got too frustrating, breakfast with Nat every morning, helping Octavio cheat at video games just to beat Ajay's high score, sitting down with Ajay to see what's bothering D.O.C., or helping Pathfinder in the kitchen with some new recipe. He just never sought out Bloth the way he did others. It didn't hurt at all, not anymore. Not like when he first joined and after Bloth had spent a week training with him, hoping that maybe Hyeun would seek them out after a while.

He hadn't.

"No, I'm not good at talking to other people." He looked down at Bloth. "What are you doing out here?"

They clear their throat before telling him, "I like the giants' calls." They clutch the railing harder now. "When I find myself missing home, they bring me comfort."

"I didn't know you were from Solace." He inquired with furrowed brows. Bloth felt their face heat up.

"No, no, I am from Talos." They corrected, nervously messing with their nails. They did not wish to speak anymore out of fear of telling Hyeun too much too fast. Of the prowlers, the jötunn, of Uncle Arthur. They were private and so, it seemed, was Hyeun. Maybe that is why they are drawn to him.

"I see." Hyeun replied simply, flicking his cigarette over the edge. Bloth felt distaste at the action, but didn't voice it. "Are you hungry?"

"What?"

"Are you hungry?" Hyeun repeated his question, this time with a small smile and a slight tilt to his head. Bloth nodded with their mouth slightly agape. They had eaten earlier in the canteen with the rest of the Legends, but Hyeun was absent from that dinner. Any moment alone with this man was a small treat for the hunter. "I can make rabbokki."

"Rabbokki?" Bloth repeated, the word foreign on their tongue, as they followed Hyeun to the canteen.

"Ya, it's my favorite Korean street food." His tone was bittersweet. "It's ramen and dubukki." He explained, though Bloth knew neither of those things. "It's good, I promise."

"I trust you." 

Hyeun chuckled, light and quick, waiting for Bloth to enter the canteen first before following behind. The doors slid shut and Hyeun fixed himself in front of the fridge. He pulled out a lot of bottle sauces and a small plastic tub of 'gochujang'. Whatever that was.

Bloth watched him in awe, their head resting on their palms. They hardly saw Hyeun out and about, except for when he is in the arena, but watching him be in such a domestic setting, with no one around to tease or mock him, it was nice. Like a small window into who Hyeun actually is. Bloth felt privileged just for being able to watch. 

"Do you cook this often?" Hyeun paused, thinking for a moment.

"It's quick, but not as quick as I'd like." Bloth did not respond, only inhaling the spices that Hyeun was cooking with. 

It was something they were not familiar with in their own cooking. Whatever cooking they did, that is. Talos was home to many herbs, but not so much the spices that Hyeun or Elliott or Makoa had access to. They supposed that was one thing they miss about Solace when they had returned home in those weeks that Hyeun had arrived.

"I suppose you've never been exposed to much authentic Korean food." Hyeun was facing them, lean muscle underneath his shirt, as he leaned against the counter. Not trusting their mouth, they shook their head. Hyeun smiled, though they could tell it was from smugness more-so than pride in sharing a meal from home. "It's simple. Maybe I could teach it to you sometime." 

"Yes!" They blurted out before thinking, a slight shock written on Hyeun's face. They cleared their throat and wished they didn't seem desperate to him. "Yes, I would like that. Thank you."

Hyeun smiled and turned his back to them, turning the stove off and pouring the contents of the pan onto a plate for Bloth along with a set of black chopsticks. Bloth was thankful for Elliott showing them how to use such a utensil. Cautiously, they took off their respirator and took a hearty mouthful of the spiced noodles and rice cakes. It was certainly spicier than the food Bloth was used to, but was grateful for the meal. Hyeun watched them with a blank face, hoping for any sign of enjoyment.

They swallowed their mouthful, quick to cover their mouth with a gloved hand. "It's gott." 

Hyeun accepted the compliment, reaching over to their plate with his own set of chopsticks and taking a helping of noodle. Bloth's face burned. No one was ever so forward with them, and they were sure that sharing food was something intimate between close friends or lovers, both of which the pair were not. They jumped up, thanked Hyeun for the meal, and rushed off to their room. Artur squawked in surprise, rustling their feathers as Bloth rushed by him.

"Afsakið." Bloth murmured, reaching out and softly scratching Artur's head. The bird seemed sated and went back to quietly cleaning his feathers. They sighed and fell back on their bed, groaning in discomfort before reaching behind themselves and pulling their axe out. "Gods, where is my head tonight?"

A sharp knock at their door took them out of their pity party, and they pushed themselves up with a frown and trudged to the door. They placed their axe carefully on the floor leaning against the wall. It slid open to reveal Hyeun mere inches away from their face.

"Are you okay?" Hyeun asked, his hands on the frames of the door to ensure it wouldn't close, but for Bloth, it felt more like he was keeping them caged in their own room. "You ran off so quickly."

"I am fine, thank you." They move a step back and did an awkward sort of 'come in' gesture with their hands. "Would you like to come in?"

Hyeun seemed shocked, taking a moment to look around Bloth's dorm with a scrutinizing eye. They suddenly felt like they were naked, exposed, as he looked around their dorm. It didn't exactly bring them comfort, but Hyeun was attractive and this was the first time he had shown any interest in Bloth outside of the arena. They did not want to fuck this up.

"Do you want me to come in?" The question seemed odd. Bloth would not have invited him in unless they wanted him inside. They stammered for a moment and huffed. Why would he ask them again? He must know they are not in their usual state of mind. 

"You do not need to ask if I offered." They sounded like a kid again. Hyeun almost seemed amused at their frustration and relaxed, moving his hands to his pockets.

"Thanks, but I have work to do." He turned and called over his shoulder a goodnight.

•••

That next day was a match day. Blotch, clad in their armor, was sharpening their axe against a stone and kept darting their attention to the hacker with his back turned to them. He was chatting with Natalie, a friendship recently reconciled by an apology on his part and a letter from Makoa.

"Arriving in 30 seconds. Please step onto the platform with your team." The announcer called. 

Bloth sighed, shaking any clouded thoughts out of their mind before finding their banner wedged between Hyeun's and Ajay's. Shit.

"What a team dis is!" Ajay cheered, her shock sticks stuffed in her field kit bag. Bloth stood between her and Hyeun. 

"Hey, Pup, where are we dropping?" Bloth's face burned at the nickname, and scanned the area. Damn Elliott and his nicknames. They hoped 'Pup' would die off eventually, but with Elliott telling everyone who arrived to the arena to call them 'Pup', it stuck.

"We should land here." They pinged Refinery, far enough from hot dropping to give them enough time to loot. "Are you fine with that?"

Hyeun looked down at the terrain of World's Edge. He narrowed his eyes and shrugged. "I'm with you."

"Alright den, let's go!" Ajay cheered as she jumped, Bloth and Hyeun following not far behind her.

When they landed, Bloth headed off towards the middle where the tracks ran through the building. The bins there gave way to good shields. An R-301 and a P2020 with Hammerpoints was a decent load-out for now. They headed upstairs to find Hyeun standing at a survey beacon just within view of the window. Bloth busied themself with picking up scraps of ammo and lazily searching for a light magazine.

"I located the next ring. Check your maps." His voice crackled through the comms and Bloth felt another wave of heat rush over their body. Not a moment longer, Ajay called out that she found a vault key. "We could make the one near Geyser."

"Following your path." Bloth dropped down to the ground and quickly caught up with Ajay.

"If there's a gold helmet, it's ya's BH." Ajay sounded very sure of it, casting a glance to Hyeun with a relieved sigh. "We're lucky our third ain't Silva. Ya just know he'd stim ahead and take anything that sparkles."

Bloth nodded in agreement, remembering all the unfortunate times they were paired with the daredevil and died before even making top ten. Gods forbid that man spare any ammo or health. Instead, they were content to find themselves on a squad with Hyeun and Ajay. They were capable and could work well in a team as well as apart. 

"Joshimae, one squad nearby." Bloth hadn't even noticed that Hyeun went into their drone. They felt foolish for letting their teammate go unprotected, even if he was a few feet away. "We have the drop."

"BH, can ya sniff 'em out?" Ajay teased, but had her Triple Take at the ready, aiming down her scope with a focus that only a battle trained warrior could possess. 

They scanned with their tracking gear on their arm, looking around their surroundings for any sign of another squad. Tracks. They were faint, however, from about forty seconds ago. The pointed it out to Ajay and Hyeun, but with no sense of urgency. Hyeun and Bloth searched the supply bins while Ajay opened the vault. Bloth sighed softly through their respirator as Hyeun found his way beside them.

"Do you need a light magazine?" Hyeun dug through his backpack, emptying out any unnecessary items. Odd, they thought, that he had waited for Ajay to be out of earshot to ask. 

"Yes, thank you." It was a high tier magazine, and not something Hyeun would pick up just for the sake of it. Bloth felt a fuzzy feeling bloom in their chest at the mere notion that Hyeun was perhaps saving this for them. 

"Hey, vault's open! Come get ya weddin' presents!" Ajay giggled to herself after making kissing noises at the pair. Bloth, blushing underneath their mask, followed behind Hyeun. "Gold helmet here wit ya name on it Hound!"

"Thank you." They snatched it up, still used to working with greedy players, before moving on.

"Ever since Ramya's arrival, these vault's have been awful." Hyeun seemed to emphasize this by showing off the two level three shotgun bolts. Ajay huffed, but her smile was evident.

She shrugged. "Is was it is, Kim." She went out the small tunnel that led to Geyser, picking up a stack of sniper ammo on the way. "C'mon, I wan'a check out Sortin' before the Ring comes in."


	2. Tracks

"Watch my back." Was the short warning Hyeun gave Bloth before crouching down on the second floor of some building in Fragment. Ajay had the downstairs to herself, keeping an eye out for the last three squads. 

They spared a look towards Hyeun, examining his features. That way his eyes darted across the neurolink screen that highlighted his face green. Bloth always would wonder if he could hear anything they say when he is in his drone. They knew he couldn't see, remembering an old fight between Hyeun and Elliott when the trickster wasn't watching the other as carefully as he could've. Against their better judgement, they slowly sank down beside Hyeun, crossing their legs as they sat. 

At this angle, they could easily see the screen Hyeun's implants projected. Of course, most of it was in code or Korean, both languages Bloth was unfamiliar with, and they frowned. They did not know why they wanted to desperately see the world how Hyeun did. He was an enigma. Most others, even Octavio, were easy to read. They had their hidden motives, of course, but Bloth was always good at reading people. Hyeun is out of reach. 

"They aren't in range." Hyeun's voice was distant, but he perked up after exited his drone. He looked at Bloth with a blank expression at seeing them sitting beside him. "Nice to see you get comfortable."

Bloth didn't respond and instead stood quickly, heading off in the other direction to stare out at the train tracks.

"See anything?" They shook their head in response, suddenly very aware of how close Hyeun was. His hand was brushing against their's, though he either didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, got 'Nita and Eli comin' over da tracks!" Ajay called from below, snapping Bloth out of their spell and moved away from Hyeun again. When they arrived downstairs, Ajay was crouched, her Kraber following Elliott's movement. It was a split second, though, where the light hit him in a strange way. Elliott flickered.

"Don't." Bloth put a quick hand on the barrel of her rifle. "He is baiting us." 

A pause. They looked back at Hyeun and hoped he understood what they were thinking. In a moment, Hyeun was hidden away in a corner again with his drone whizzing past them and around Anita and Elliott's decoy. They all knew better than to shoot at the soldier. Her double-time makes her incredibly difficult to hit unless Bloth or Octavio stay on her heels and that would be a waste of adrenaline. 

"Found him." Hyeun spoke softly.

"They don't have a third. We could push 'em." Ajay pointed out, her sights still trained on Anita and Elliott, who was hiding behind the spare train car on the track. Hyeun exited his drone.

"Think we should wait." Hyeun rummaged through his pack. "I don't have enough ammo for a third party." Bloth found both eyes on them. "You're the deciding vote."

Bloth, though partial to a push, couldn't help but feel like they would head into a trap. The area wasn't well covered, give or take small rocks, and Anita thrived in open spaces. Besides, there were still three squads unaccounted for. 

"We have the Ring," the pointed out, looking down at their maps. "Hap we should wait. They will come to us."

Hyeun seemed pleased with that response and stood. He remarked that he will keep watch on the second floor and headed up the stairs. Ajay nudged Bloth with furrowed brows.

"Ya never one to wait things out." She spoke with a pointed tone, her eyes looking them up and down in worry. "Ya ain't doin' this for Kim, are ya'?"

"Hvað? Nei." Bloth answered quick and felt like they were caught doing something wrong. Of course, they hadn't done anything wrong outside of liking their co-worker a bit too much. Considering, they could've chosen someone a lot worse to find attraction with. Perhaps Caustic or Revenant. "We are not dead yet, felagi."

"Yet." She punctuated with a sigh.

Bloth doesn't disappoint. It's not in their blood. As Elliott and Anita are picking off the randoms that were carried by their friends, Bloth and their team waited for an opportune moment to strike. They took a shaky breath, flexed their gloved fingers, and took that shot of adrenaline that give their senses that kick that makes them feel good. 

Three other squads and they were still fighting. Makoa's dome was still up, Natalie patching herself up while Ramya tried to give her as much cover as possible from Anita's shots. Caustic and Loba were putting up a good fight with Revenant, the assassin seeming to be more focused on covering shots for Loba than actually fighting.. Instead of going for Makoa's team, they ventured towards the left of the tracks, hoping to fish out Elliott. At a distance, the man is useless. His simple loadout of a Wingman and Volt made him an easy target. Elliott went down in one clip of their R-301. Anita noticed Elliott getting knocked and quickly put her efforts towards taking cover and throwing out her artillery strike. 

In a moment, Hyeun got sniped and knocked down. Bloth felt their blood pressure rise, their common sense betraying them as they rushed to Hyeun's side, lucky for the train posts and the fighting on the track above them for a moment of safety. They pushed Hyeun onto their lap, a hand resting on the small of his back while their free hand dug around their pack for the shot of adrenaline that gets Legends back on their feet. 

"Your time has not come to an end, felagi." Bloth all but shook as they wasted the rest of their 'ultimate' shot on bringing Hyeun back up. The man seemed grateful, sputtering out a 'thank you' as he recharged his shields and health with a phoenix kit.

"Don't worry about me," his voice was shaky and stammering. "Go help Che."

Bloth hesitated, looking between Hyeun and the fight. They quickly shook their head. "I won't leave you in a vulnerable state."

"Hound, Kim! Loba and Rev are down!" Ajay announced through the comms.

"Heard!" Hyeun responded, finishing off his phoenix kit with a hefty sigh. "Did you see Caustic?"

"Nei, but he must be nearby." Bloth used their tracking device again, finding the mess that is the battlefield above them. In the last moments of their scan, the burly figure of Caustic coming towards Ajay made them jump. "Lifeline, beware of your surroundings. Caustic is nearby."

"Gotcha!" She responded quickly, the familiar sound of her reloading her gun and swiftly running away from the trapper and towards her team. She slid down the hill gracefully and caught her breath. "Two squads left. We got dis."

"We don't have to worry about Anita and Elliott anymore, but Caustic and Natalie could be trouble." Hyeun spoke like he was thinking aloud. He sighed. "I can't risk going into my drone in this fight."

"We should push whoever is closest." Ajay shook her head at Bloth's offer.

"I think we should wait for them to fight." She flexed her hands in the air to shake out any late game jitters. "They fight and we swoop in to pick off the stragglers."

Bloth huffed and nodded. They didn't like waiting around, especially when it was a three stack versus two broken teams. It could be an easy push, but they stayed put and figured it best not to test their luck with leaving their team again. Ajay held back, but they could tell she was just as ready to rush in. Loba fell and they were off.

"We have our Apex Champions."

•••

When they arrived back on the dropship, Elliott immediately ran up to clap Bloth on their back in congratulations. They could see Anita with her arm around Loba's middle, holding her close, as she complained about having Octavio on her team. Now that explains why she didn't have a third. She caught their gaze and gave them a two finger salute with a crooked smile. They nodded in response and retired to their room.

Artur sqawked a greeting, flying out of their cage and onto Bloth's waiting forearm. They smiled as the bird affectionally patted their arm with his beak. 

"It is good to see you too, my love." They chuckled, using their free hand to remove their cowl and respirator. "Are you hungry, Artur? Hap I can give you a treat for being a good boy."

They cawed in response, earning a hard knock against the wall from their neighbor. Bloth pursed their lips.

"Do not mind him. He is just jealous that you are a better person than he is." 

Artur seemed to laugh with their sharp caw and quick steps on their arm. Bloth found themself chuckling along, petting under Artur's beak. He flew to the small shelf where books, incense and unused candles, and, of course, where Artur's seed and treats were kept. Bloth reached above their head and grabbed the glass jar before heading over to his cage. Artur followed close behind, softly gliding over to the ornate cage. He waited patiently on his owner's shoulder, watching them pour out the seed and waited until they walked away to eat. 

Bloth sighed in relief after taking off their tightly laced boots and jacket. They felt like they could just sink into their bed and sleep until tomorrow, but watching Artur eat made them realize their own stab of hunger. They bit the inside of their cheek in frustration at having to wait until much later to eat, not wanting to reveal too much of their scarred skin to their colleagues, but figured a nice bath would do until then.

Legend housing was much like college, or what they've seen on movies about colleges, and were fitted with communal bathrooms. Bloth never felt the most comfortable in those bathrooms, voicing it to Jacob Young, and resulted in their own private bathroom. Small victories, they suppose.

"Be good, Artur." Bloth warned with a warm smile before slipping outside their room and locking it behind them with an electronic keypad on the wall beside it. They sighed in anticipation.


	3. Paper

Bloth didn't know what to do about the small brown paper wrapped box in front of their door. Twine sealed the box together and Korean was scribbled on the top in one neat little corner. They'd been staring at it so long there was a wet puddle from their hair on the tiled floor beneath their bare feet. It was a gift, they thought. A gift from Hyeun. Maybe a congratulatory gift for winning the match today, but it wasn't significant enough to warrant any sort of gift. It wasn't a season opening or their first game won. 

They wondered: 'Why? Why did I pick this up?' as they sat against their door. The box was heavy and they lightly shook it to hear it's contents rattle inside. Plastic. With furrowed brows, they tore open the paper and gingerly lifted the folds of the box. A note greeted them.

"A recipe?" They questioned, placing the note beside them. The rest of the box had a package of some Korean ramen, rice cakes, and that gochujang sauce tub that Hyeun had cooked with before. "Oh."

It was sweet. And indirect. They would've rather had him deliver it personally so they could thank him to his face, but this was thoughtful. Bloth had actually forgot they had ever even asked to learn the Korean dish, but felt a warm full body vibration at the thought of Hyeun remembering and going through the trouble of buying them all the ingredients and even writing a recipe. Without a second thought, they threw on some sleep clothes and walked out to the canteen with their box of ingredients and the recipe.

"Hey, Houndie, whatcha up to?" Elliott was at the sink, washing dishes from dinner that night. The man eyed the box curiously. "What's that? Is it from a fan?"

"It would be best for you to mind your business, mate." Ramya teased from her spot on the couch. "Remember the last time you were too nosey?"

"Uh, nothing bad happened to me, Ram." He corrected, placing a plate into the dishwasher. "Unless you count that cheap shot you took on Olympus, then yes, I do remember."

"Aw, he might not be too bright, but he sure is pretty!" She laughed, a loud cackle if anything, and returned to painting her nails after Elliott stuttered to respond, settling on telling her she sucked ass and flipping her off. 

Bloth will never understand their relationship. Shaking their head, they returned their focus to making themselves dinner. They mixed the sauce together first, like they had seen Hyeun do the night before, smelling the vibrant mix of spices through their mask. The water was set on the stove and waited patiently for it to boil. 'A rolling boil.' They don't why Hyeun included that. They have cooked before. 

"Mm, smells good. You gonna share?" Elliott was leaning on the counter beside them and left the dishes chore for later it seemed as he found watching then cook far more interesting.

"Nei, this is for me." They said firmly. It was a ridiculous thought, one they felt embarrassed for having, but this felt like an intimate dish meant for only Hyeun and Bloth. They knew that was not the case; rationally, they knew that millions eat or make this dish regularly. They couldn't help but feel fuzzy at the thought. Something just for the two of them. "Hyeun taught me."

"Hacker boy?" Elliott scoffed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "You're kidding."

"Why would I kid?" Ramya chuckled, looking up from her nails again.

"Face it, Witt," she paused to snort out a laugh. "Ya just ain't likable."

"Excuse me?" Bloth rolled their eyes behind their goggles. They never had siblings, or at least any they were particularly close to, to understand Elliott and Ramya's relationship with each other. The roommates were an odd pair. "I am the third sexiest man on the Frontier and I get marriage prop- propasal- Fuck! Proposals daily! How is that not likable?"

"Looks don't equate personality." She retorted, earning a roll of paper towels being thrown at her. 

Bloth huffed, trying their best to ignore their fighting as they plated their meal. It wasn't as neat as Hyeun's, not quite sure how to make those soft-boiled eggs that were placed neatly on the noddles and rice cakes, but it smelled the same and it was cooked. They smiled to themself and left without another word to the duo.

•••

They sat cross legged on their bed, the small TV screen embedded on the wall replaying the day's match. They shoved a mouthful of noodle into their mouth with their eyes trained on the screen. With these reruns, various news outlets have banners that run at the bottom of the screen and the newest point of interest was a secret budding romance between Hyeun and Bloth. Simply saving a teammate does not mean they were fucking. It's ridiculous what these trash tabloids will run with, and no doubt Elliott will tease both Bloth and Hyeun about it. Perhaps they should go to Hyeun and discuss it. 

But what if he doesn't mind? 

The thought crosses their mind with a furious blush. Hyeun was especially kind to them as of late; there could be a chance he didn't actually care if everyone thought they were together romantically. It was another warm thought, but their rational brain told them that they should discuss this with Hyeun. Maybe in the morning or until after they ate. 

It was too early in the morning when loud knocking woke them from their slumber. Their hair went every which way, and in a lazy attempt to flatten it, they licked their hands and ran it through the mess of dark curls. It didn't help and only added volume.

"Fokk það." Bloth muttered to themself and put on their mask from the bedside table and slid open the door. They've almost come to expect it to be Hyeun now. "What time is it?"

"Three." He answered with a harsh tone. He seemed agitated. Reasonably so, they thought, he must've seen the tabloids. He paused, took a deep breath, and looked at Bloth, up and then down. The man looked at them in disdain. "Are those fuzzy socks?"

"That is why you came to see me?" They asked with an amused tone in their voice. They wore fuzzy socks in the design of fluffy little foxes. They had about ten like it as a gift from a fan. It was the only gift they ever kept. "To inquire the type of socks I wear?"

Hyeun softened and shook his head. "Did you see the stories about us?"

"Já." 

"Well?" 

They didn't know what answer he was looking for. They didn't have one and it was too early to think of one either. Absently, Bloth messed with their hair. Curling one thick strand around their finger and Hyeun's eyes followed. 

"I could shoot you in the face next match." They offered with a shrug.

"Funny." He remarked blandly. He paused, regarding Bloth with a deep frown. Well, not a frown. More like he was deep in thought, asking himself a question that he couldn't answer. "Why did you stop to help me? You would've gotten more money if you fought with Ajay."

They shrugged, but they knew the answer. They couldn't - no, wouldn't - ever tell him. Rejection was worse. They didn't care about the kills anyway.

"Thank you." They spoke quietly while staring at the space on the floor between their feet. Hyeun cocked his head at them. "For the food. It was good."

"Oh, cheonman-eyo." He shrugged. He crossed his arms and looked at Bloth with an unreadable expression. "Next time, don't go for the save." They nod. "Okay. Good night. I apologize for waking you up." He paused and smiled. "You have bird seed in your hair."

"As well as knives. Góða nótt." 

They panicked, quickly closing the door and turning the back against the hard metal.  Needless to say, they did not go back to sleep. They curled up in their bed, the thick pelt they brought with then from home keeping them warm, and watched TV. It was not their ideal pass time, but they did not want to wake up Artur. An old interview from when Hyeun first joined the Games all those months ago was rerunning. His hair was shorter then and he seemed angrier. 

He was talking about what an idiot 'Mirage' was and how glad he was to have Ajay on his team. Someone competent to have with him. The interviewer laughed at his complaining, asking him about his drone and what Legends he looks forward to seeing as his squadmates in future games. 

"Bloodhound is a Legend I've had my eye on for a while." The interviewer leaned forward in her chair, eager for whatever gossip Hyeun was willing to share - not that he would. "They seem capable in the field and their kit is useful in the field. I've watched all the Legends fight before joining, and I believe that Bloodhound is a true predator in the arena."

They never saw this interview. They were never one for the interviews anyway, but seeing Hyeun praise their tracking and skills that way made them feel really fucking good. The only time they'd felt this good about themselves were years ago, when some boy told them they were cute and kissed them. Now, they find more comfort in battle than in the bedroom, and Hyeun seeing that let them feel seen. They hadn't felt that way in a long time.


	4. Small

Bloth never liked fighting against Caustic. His gas stuck to their throat and burned their already fragile lungs. They held back hot tears as they fell to their knees, choking on the toxic gas. The burn in their lungs was so terribly familiar. Nitrogen that froze their lungs and permanently cracked their skin and left them breathing through a respirator when any labor was to be done. Caustic was a terrible reminder of that day. 

He stalked towards them as they tried their hardest to crawl away to fresh air and stop the rising panic attack. The doctor was faster and delivered a harsh kick to their side and sent them to their stomach with a grunt. Whatever air they had came out in a sharp cough. The doctor turned them over and pressed a firm hand to their throat. He looked at them with no sympathy, only a curious glare in his eyes. Once, when they had first met, Bloth thought he had look like Uncle Arthur. They are smarter now.

"I mean no disrespect." The hand pressed harder onto their neck, leaning closer to their face. They gasped and clawed at his arm, trying desperately to take in any air, but getting only awful broken sobs crackling through the mask. "You seemed to befriend a pest. Friends of pests are pests themselves."

"Stah...."

"-ay close to me child."

The large figure of their uncle was the only thing they focussed on. The tall trees and the cry of a wild animal made them yelp in fear, wishing they could reach out and hold their new guardian. This was their first hunt. The snow crunched beneath their feet and the frozen tower in the east were the only reminders of their papa's death. They held a small dagger, one made of old bone and leather. They did not know how to use it, but they felt safer with it.

They trailed behind their uncle, softly swiping through the air with their dagger. It was still, no wind to disturb the pair, and the blizzard that plagued their people had subsided last night. The familiar pressure on their bladder made them stop, tucking the dagger into the sheath on their belt and rushed beside the man.

"Frændi, I have to pee." They reached out, tugging softly on the end of their uncle's tunic. They had a tight expression and were jumping from foot to foot. "Very badly."

"Relieve yourself in those bushes." He sounded almost disappointed. "I will wait here. Do not take long."

They nodded and rushed off to the bushes left of the trail. They struggled to pull down their pants with frozen fingers. They winced at the rush of cold air and tried their best to ignore it and just pee. They used snow to clean themself off. They fix themself up and find their uncle whittling against a fallen tree.  They felt happy to see the man waiting and stood in front of him. He did not move his eyes from the piece of wood, only asking if they were finished with their business. They nod and fall back into step with Arthur, occasionally glancing behind themself or tripping over their own feet as they walked.

"You are distracted." They apologize quickly. Arthur stopped and looked back at them with a frown. "What plagues your mind, child?"

They shake their head, looking down at the divots in the snow from where they were standing. Their small feet sunk slightly into the few inches of snow. Arthur kneeled in front of them, taking their small hands in his.

"These hands will not be small forever." He said simply. With one hand, he reached to his hip and placed the Raven's Bite in their hands. It was heavy and the red eye stared back at them. "This will be yours one day, my child. When you are bigger and can protect yourself. Until then, I am here to keep you safe from harm."

A beat.

"It is too large." 

Arthur chuckled, placing the axe back at his hip and stood with Bloth's small hand securely in his own.

"Come, we must finish this hunt before nightfall if you wish to have any dinner."

"Oh, I apologize, I lost you for a moment there." Caustic's voice rang through their head, eyes snapping open to see the doctor looming above them. They wished for the delirium back. "Sometimes I lose myself in the moment of an experiment. I believe you understand, Bloodhound. The thrill of the hunt. I wonder, does it excite you as it excites me? Do you wish to drive your axe through your team's own heads as well as the enemy? Will that please your gods?"

They took in big gulps of air, still unable to gain control of their limbs despite desperately wishing to defend themself, whether it be through words or cutting the man's tongue out.They coughed and stared up at the man. 

"Fu...." They cough and wheeze. The doctor leaned closer. Slowly, he removed their respirator and tosses it somewhere out of reach. He gripped their face, his fat fingers gripping their cheeks with a vice grip. They find breathing near impossible and all but wills achoked out: "Fuck. You."

A bang and blood splattered on their face. Caustic's body fell down toward them, only to be replaced by a weightless deathbox that landed with a thud beside them. They were gingerly held, a sharp pain in their chest. Relief coursed through their veins and they allowed whoever was holding them to press a med-kit injection into their wrist. Softly as ever, their respirator was returned to their wiped clean face.

"You still with us?" Ramya's voice sounded underwater. She was in front on them, knelt down with a tight-lipped expression, her hand the only thing holding the respirator in place. The look did not fit her face. They took short breathes with soft wheezes and nodded, thankful that they found the strength to charge their shields on their own.

"Thank you." Ramya nodded, finally leaving them to loot the deathbox. They snapped the respirator in place.

Their breathing was soft and strained. They leaned against a console. Searching eyes find Hyeun, picking through Caustic's deathbox with a look of pure disgust.

"He was especially cruel to you." Hyeun sounded so sincere when he found the courage to be near them again. That fear was left in Skyhook with Caustic's box. "Maybe we shouldn't talk anymore."

"What?" They stopped, letting Ramya scout ahead at the survey camp. "What drew you to that conclusion?"

"It's obvious he hates me." He did not turn to look at them. "I think it would be best if we stop this friendship before he can do anything worse to-" 

He stopped himself, but Bloth was not stupid. They grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at them. 

"I can taka it." They were not a child. They were a grown adult and fully capable of dealing with a psychotic doctor who uses his coworkers as test subjects. "I am not a baby."

"I never said you were." Hyeun raised his voice before catching himself. A sigh escaped his lips, his breath leaving in a puff of air. "I've had too many people suffer because of my actions. I do not want to add your name to that list."

They felt furious. They could take anything the Allfather used to test them. They had suffered from the day they were born and will still suffer as they die. Bloth can deal with their own suffering and more. 

"You do not get to decide that!" They exclaimed, not quite caring who will hear and come running with their guns drawn. "Do not try to make decisions for me! I can take as much as is given to me and more! It is not fair for you to pretend to know what is best for me when you do not even know me!" They pause, searching Hyeun's face for anything. Any sign that he cared. "Say something!"

Hyeun opened his mouth to speak, but shut it just as quickly. Silently, he turned and walked away from them. Stunned. Bloth stood there with warm tears running down their cheeks.

•••

They did not win. Making it fourth. Bloth couldn't care less, running straight to their room and throwing their mask off, not caring where it landed. They felt like screaming or breaking something or screaming and breaking something. They took a shaky breath and wiped their face with their hands. They wanted to go to Hyeun. They wanted to hit him and scream at him and show him they are not some delicate flower that can not protect themself. 

If Hyeun hates them, that is his problem. But, they remember bitterly, he does not hate them. It seems to them, that they are much like Natalie in this situation. Stuck between Hyeun and Caustic's intentions. That's it. They've decided. 

"Oh, Bloodhound, what a pleasant surprise!" Natalie seemed perfectly giddy to see the hunter at her door. She welcomed them inside and went to sit at her lounge with a smile. "How can I help you?"

"Hyeun refuses to speak with me after seeing how Caustic tried to choke me to death." She looked confused for a moment. "With his hands." 

She grimaced, placing her hand at her throat. "I see." She sighed. "I believe Hyeun has gone the wrong way again. He can not protect you from-"

"Anything, yes." They huffed, sinking into her lounge with their arms crossed. "I can protect myself. I do not understand why-"

"Let me finish, cheri." She chuckled, placing a delicate hand on their knee. "He can not protect you when you are on different teams. He is afraid Caustic will do something harmful to you without being nearby to prevent it." 

They blink. "What?"

"He likes you." Natalie seemed pleased with herself. "Ramya acted similarly when we first met and would end up keeping her sights on me the entire season to ensure no one else could hurt me."

"But you and Ramya are...." 

The realization hit them like a truck. They shot up quickly, thanking Natalie, and exiting her room with a red face. Somehow, they were angrier. They found their way to Hyeun's room with their fist ready to knock on his locked door. The door slides open, their raised fist chest level with Hyeun's steady frame.

"Hey." 


	5. Edge

They panted, hugging their side, a yelp of pain as they pressed against their injured stomach. Blood stained their tunic and hands and they slumped against the cave they took refuged in. Fucking prowlers. Fucking injured cub. Last time they do anything nice for someone, they thought as they lifted their tunic off to assess the damage fully and unfortunately leaving their chest exposed to the cold with only their chest binder as protection.

Three long slashes across their abdomen that stretched down to their hip. Their breath was ragged as they pulled out the small metal flask they carried clean water in and poured it over their wounds. They bit the inside of their cheek to silence their yell. Blood seeped out of the wound slowly, but it was better that it was so they reached for their tunic. They tore off any fabric they could to use for bandages. The effort was just that. An effort. A stab of pain burned through their side as they tore apart the thick fabric. They wrapped themself in the makeshift bandages and decided to opt out of a shirt, at least for the moment until it doesn't hurt so much to lift their arms.

Logically, they knew they should make it back to the village and find Anna to dress their wounds properly, but with losing so much blood, the first thing on their mind was sleep. They wrapped their tunic around themself and closed their eyes. An hour or two. Then Anna.

They awoke with a snap from the woods. It sounded nearby and they panicked. Being caught with their shirt down wasn't ideal, but they gripped their axe tight and readied themself for whatever may come. Hopefully not the prowler mother hoping to finish off her meal. As the intruder neared, Bloth had stopped breathing entirely. Better to hear. They bite back a groan as they stood and let their tunic fall silently to the ground. The intruder was just outside the cave on their right, one easy swing with their axe and whoever it was would be dead. Easy.

It neared and Bloth swung, but it blocked their blow with a leather bag. Slowly, it lifted the bag down and Bloth didn't exactly feel relief. 

"Oksana? What are you doing out here?" They bit back a rude comment. Björn was odd and seemed to find testing Bloth a fun pastime, but he was here and he could be useful. "Anna misses you, you know."

They huff, a hand on their aching side, and bent down to pick up their top and pull it on. They wanted to be as covered up around him as possible. He was known for being a little to handsy around them. He liked to test limits and that cost him a knife in his hand.

"Just watch my back on the way to the village." They order, shoving past him and taking their axe on the way. He put his hands up with a laugh.

"Who hit you anyway?" He asked, making a show of walking slower for them to keep up. Asshole. "Was it that pesky little insect you keep with you, Oksana?"

They almost hit him for that. "Artur would not hurt me. Ever." He laughed at that.  They jab their axe at his chest. "A wiser man would stop calling me by that name."

He didn't care. They knew this much. "Can't believe you named that pest you live with after your uncle. A warrior like him-"

They stop him. "A warrior like him raised a warrior like me. Last I remember, you were not there when that jötunn stormed into the village and you did not bring back its head." 

They pant a moment, ignoring the burn in their side. That shut him up for a bit and Bloth enjoyed the silence. For once, that stupid boy learned how to shut his mouth. The walk back to the village was tough to say the least. They hid every grunt and wince as they trudged through the new snow. Their arrival home was ceremonial. 

Anna pulled them into an embrace before realizing they were injured. She was as much their mother as Artur was their father. Bearing no children of her own and finding solace in her own company, the quiet child who appeared at her door with extra meat from the prowler their uncle hunted who was fascinated with herbal medicine was a welcome change to her routine. 

Gently, she guided Bloth to the cot inside their room and instructed them to lay down. Their shirt and binder were discarded to the floor and they braced themself for the hooked needle to suture them back together. Pained screams echoed through their mind and felt almost outside themself. It was their first time getting stitched back together like this surprisingly. 

"You are doing well, my child. Only once more."Anna words were quiet and soothing, but Bloth could only gather a fistful of the sheets and hope they don't hit her. "My love, please, you must stay still. I do not wish to put you in any more torment."

They nodded and bit their lip until it bled. The searing pain was over and they could feel their pulse in their freshly stitched side. Anna's hands, now cleaned, ran through Bloth's hair gently and kissed their forehead. 

"I will prepare dinner." She stood and pulled a pelt over them. "Rest. I will wake you when it's done."

•••

They tried to ignore how Hyeun's eyes seemed to trail their scarred body. He actually kissed one particular scar that covered their left shoulder. A nasty burn from when they got a bit too close to the lava pools when they were younger. They didn't pride themself on their scars. It was more of a conscious knowledge of the battles they've won and lost. In turn, they trailed their hands down the cybernetics that covered his neck and down his chest. They thought it was cool. Admittedly, they thought most things about Hyeun were cool. That sounded stupid, but it was true enough. How he hid himself behind his technology, his secrecy, how he let only Bloth in. It felt-

He said something in Korean, smooth in their ear, and he bit their ear. He sounded breathless as he thrust into them, but they couldn't act like they weren't being as breathless or mouthy. They would whine or moan loudly like they've seen on TV or heard somewhere that men liked mouthy partners. Elliott at least made it seem like the louder the better. They dug their nails into Hyeun's shoulders at a particularly long stroke, a gasp leaving their mouth.

"You can talk." He mumbled it and Bloth would've missed it entirely if they weren't waiting for him to say anything besides the grunts or moans he had been giving them. "It's nice to hear you - ugh - talk. You have a nice accent."

They scrambled for something to say, but Hyeun began tenderly kissing down their neck and they turned to mush. His lips ghosted over a scar at their neck, just between their shoulder and their nape.

"I do not have an accent." Hyeun paused in his movements and looked down at them with a crooked grin, kissing the scar again. "I got that fistfighting a bear."

It wasn't a fistfight. They had their arrow trained on its head until a deer caused the bear to storm at them. An arrow to its heart didn't deter the beast and they ended up wildly punching its head when it went to take a chunk out of their neck until it dropped.

"I'm assuming you won." He teased and moved again, his hand moving down to massage their thigh. There was a particularly nasty looking gash that looked either like a slice or a bullet skimming their skin. "This one?"

"An accident when I was sharpening my knife." It was when Hyeun first joined. He had alresdy moved into the dorms and Bloth was halfway through the training week with him when he cane out of the showers with only a towel around his waist. They saw him from their room and slipped, dropping the knife between their legs.

His hand moved again, this time towards their chest to gently massage their breast. He took the other one in his mouth and Bloth couldn't help but fist his hair and shout. He stopped for a moment to tell them to keep talking. The stimulation from his mouth, his hands, and his dick was certainly enough incentive. They started rambling in Icelandic. About Anna, Artur, the gods. Anything that cane to mind. The first game they had with Hyeun and the promise they made. 

He looked up at them with what they could only hope was adoration and he popped off of them with red lips to kiss them. They were the one to deepen the kiss, pulling him close with their legs wrapped around his waist to keep him close and their tongue in his mouth. They came without warning and Hyeun chuckled into the kiss and slid out of them to release on his sheets. They could've laughed at the notion if him waiting for them to cum first, but instead they just yawned.

A beat.

"I have to pee." 

They left the bed and felt like a jelly. It had admittedly been a while since they had sex and their first time could barely count as a first time seeing as they didn't cum, but it didn't matter now as they sat on Hyeun's toilet and felt so loose and sort of sticky. They would take a shower, but really didn't want to risk running into any other Legends and having to explain why they came out of Hyeun's room. They cane out of the bathroom to find Hyeun in his boxers at his computer. They scoff.

"Is that really what is at the forefront of your mind?" He didn't turn to acknowledge them. The click of his keys was a response. 

They shrug and return to his bedroom to find their underwear and a shirt. The closest and cleanest was his that had some sort of game logo on the front. As they bent down to take to shirt, there was an odd little shoebox stuffed under the bed. Curiosity got the better of them and they quickly took the box in hand. 

It's contents were tame. A family picture of who they assume is Hyeun with two women. A mother and a sister maybe. FlippiHe looked happy and very dorky in those glasses. Those same glasses were also in the box along with a phone number and a USB flashdrive. They hummed in thought as they took the drive in their hands. They had a computer in their room and, despite never actually using it, had a good grasp on how to use it. So, against their better judgement, they shoved the drive in the pocket of their pants on the floor and put the box back under the bed. They sat on the edge of the bed, crossing their legs at the ankle to seem more like they were waiting for Hyeun to get back. 

He did, eventually, and crossed his arms at the door to look at them. "You look nice in my clothes."

They look away with a blush and let Hyeun sit them back against the bed. Assuming he was ready for another round, they spread their legs and placed their hand on his chest. The action made him laugh, barely, and kiss their forehead. 

"I was thinking more of just sleeping for now." He yawned and stretched his arms over his head before laying down. As if on instinct, Bloth nestled into his side, slipping their leg between his, and resting their head on his chest. "Mmm, that's nice."  They breathe in his scent. He smelt like smoke and the city. It was a comfort.  "Get some sleep." 


End file.
